While most folks take in their cars regularly for tune ups, or themselves in for annual physicals,
they oftentimes neglect to diagnose trouble spots in their marriage before a crisis hits. Crisis’ in
marriages most often do not happen overnight. However, they are a result of weeks, months, and years of unhealthy relational patterns. If our car started sputtering or our bodies had an area of intense pain, we would create time to have someone run a diagnostic and assess the problem. The same concept should be implemented in our marriages. Our marriage relationships need a regular “check ups” just like our bodies or cars do. By investing in non-crisis marriage counseling, folks can take care of areas of acute pain before they become areas of chronic pain. Marriages do not need to be in crisis to benefit from the numerous marriage curriculums available designed to highlight strength and growth areas. These areas can be an indicator of compatibility or incompatibility as well. Areas of strength, areas of growth, compatibility, and incompatibility can change throughout the course of a marriage. Having children, job changes, becoming empty nesters and caring for aging parents are all examples of life events that create new stressors in marriages. If left unchecked these stressors can turn into crisis’ which can contribute to couples getting divorced. All of these reasons, and more, are examples of why it can be tremendously helpful to have a trained professional highlight problem areas and provide tools which can revitalize a marriage relationship. Having diagnostics run on our cars, or bodies, can keep them running at an optimum performance. Similarly, having a marriage tune up by attending a conference, seminar, or short-term counseling sessions can do the same for our marriage relationships.

Denise Payne, MS
Certified Prepare & Enrich Facilitator